Terrie Rae Howard - Online Memorial Website

Pennies From Heaven

I found a penny today
Just laying on the ground
But it's not just a penny
This little coin I've found

Found pennies come from heaven
That's what my Grandpa told me
He said angels toss them down
Oh, how I loved that story

He said when an angel misses you
They toss a penny down
Sometimes just to cheer you up
Make a smile out of your frown

So don't pass by that penny
When you're feeling blue
It may be a penny from heaven
That an angel's tossed to you

One more...I remember in primary whe I was about 8 years old, we were suppose to take a baby photo of ourselves, and they would put it up on a projector and everyone would try and guess who it was. Well, being the last child of the family, we did not have any baby photographs of me until I was about 4-5 years old. So I had to take a baby photograph of you and say it was me (I had to lie about this photo in church! lol!!). I remember getting so mad because everyone was saying how cute that baby was (I have to admitt you were a pretty darn cbute/beautiful baby although at the time did not appreciate or think so). They all just kept going on and on about how cute you were (although they thought it was me). I was sooo mad at you. LOL...I love you! I would give anything to have that picture again, although I believe it was destroyed in the fire in Kamas. I am sorry so being so upset with you at the time. I love and miss you and sharing these memories help!     

I REMEBER LAST MOTHERS DAY WHEN WE FLEW YOU INTO SALT LAKE AS A SURPRISE FOR MOM BECAUSE SHE HAD BEEN SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU, ESPECIALLY BEING SO FAR AWAY. I WILL NEVER, EVER, FORGET MOMS SCREAM OF JOY WHEN YOU WALKED IN THE DOOR. SHE ALMOST COLLAPSED. THE LOOK ON HER FACE WITH THE TEARS STREAMING DOWN WITH JOY IS SOMETHING I WILL NEVER FORGET. SHE SAID THAT WAS THE BEST MOTHERS DAY SHE HAS EVER HAD.

ALSO 2 YEARS AGO WHEN YOU CAME DOWN FOR THE FAMILY REUNION. ALL THE KIDS WERE PLAYING THE RELAY GAMES, AND THE DIFFERENT GAMES LIKE DRESSING UP AS A HULA GIRL (I THINK WE HAVE THE PICURE). YOU WERE THE ONLY ADULT OUT THERE HAMMING IT UP WITH THE KIDS AND LOVING IT. IT WAS SO FUN TO SEE MY BOY'S FACES AS YOU COMPETED AND HELPED THEM COMPETE. YOU PUT A SMILE ON EVERYONES FACE. BUT, YOU ALWAY PUT A SMILE ON EVERYONES FACE. YOU HAD SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSONALITY AND SENSE OF HUMOR. YOU COULD MAKE EVEN THE GROUCHIEST PERSON IN THE MORNING (ME) SMILE, AND BELIEVE ME THAT IS NOT EASY! I WILL ALWAYS CHERISH THE MEMORIES I HAVE OF YOU. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!

I REMEBER IN MY EARLY 20'S WHEN YOU LIVE IN PINEDALE YOU WOULD LET ALL MY FRIENDS AND I DRIVE UP AND STAY WITH YOU AND JUST PARTY.

I REMEBER YOU GAVE ME MY VERY FIRST BIKINI (LIKE I COULD EVER WEAR IT..LOL) IT WAS A PINK ONE. I WAS IN MY EARLY TEENS AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO COOL! YOU WORE IT ALL THE TIME AND I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED IT AND YOU WENT IN AND CHANGED AND GAVE IT TO ME. THAT MEANT SO MUCH TO ME AT THAT YOUNG AGE.  

GOD, I HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES I COULD GO ON AND ON. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH SISTER. MY EYES ARE SO BLURRED WITH TEARS TONIGHT REMEMBERING EVERYTHING.    

I REMEBER JUST AFTER YOUR FIRST BOUT WITH BREAST CANCER, YOU HAD JUST FINISHED CHEMO THERAPY. YOU AND I WENT ON A "ROAD TRIP" DOWN TO YOUMA TO SEE MOM AND DAD. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN! ALTHOUGH WE DROVE STRAIGHT THRU FOR ABOUT 14-16 HOURS WE LAUGHED AND TALKED THE WHOLE WAY. WE EVEN GOT LOST! HOW, I DON'T KNOW, BECAUSE IT IS PRACTICALLY A STRAIGHT SHOT THERE (THAT IS PROBABLY WHY IT TOOK US SO LONG TO GET THERE).  WE WERE DRIVING THRU ARIZONA WHEN WE STARTED TO PASS A HUGE MARINA WITH BOATS IN IT. I TOLD YOU THAT I DID NOT REMEMBER GOING THRU ARIZONA  AND PASSING A LAKE. WE ENDED UP CALLING DAD AND HAVING TO BACK TRACK. WE LAUGHED SO HARD ABOUT IT! WE WERE ABOUT 50 MILES OFF COURSE BECAUSE WE WERE LAUGHING AND TALKING SO MUCH NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHERE WE WERE SUPPOSE TO TURN OFF. IT WAS A GREAT TIME I WILL NEVER FORGET. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOUR LAUGHTER SO MUCH. YOU WERE THE BEST STORY TELLER. YOU COULD MAKE US ALL BELLY LAUGH SO HARD (LIKE WHEN YOU WERE TELLING US ABOUT POPPING THE EXERCISE BALL AT WORK..LOL!!). I WILL AND DO MISS YOUR STORIES, BUT MOST OF ALL I MISS YOU. I LOVE YOU SISTER!   

Dear Sister...I cannot get the screams of anguish and sorrow coming from your daughter as you took your last breath and closed your eyes for the last time out of my head. I don't know which was harder, losing you or knowing of their sorrow. I am so thankful and blessed to have been holding your hand as you passed from this world into your new journey of life in the spiritual world. Your hands were so unbelievably soft. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? Have I ever told you how incredible I think you are? Have I ever told you how much I envied your incredible strength and courage? You have deeply touched so many peoples lives in so many different ways without even knowing it. I love you so deeply down to the core of my very soul. I see so much of your goodness and the great qualities you had in both Kim and Tracie. My heart aches for them for the incredibly tough time they are having and will contiue to have with your passing. But, they are stong women, just like you. They will make it thru this until you meet again someday. Stay close to them. Give them the comfort they need whenever they ask for it and even when they don't. Give them little signs that youa re there and listening. They need you now more than ever. I love you so tremendously sister. You are the soul that binds this family together forever and your legacy lives on thru your children and grandchildren. This website is such a great outlet for me. To express to you my feelings. I love you. I miss you. I long for you. I will honor your memory and legacies forever. Till we meet again.

Before my mom passed away we talked a lot about death.  I told her at that time, that I hoped I would die very quickly without pain.  She looked at me and said, "Kimberlee . . . I feel like this is a gift.  God has given me time to be at peace with this reality, to make amends with those who I have held ill feelings toward, and to allow you and the grandkids an opportunity to come to terms with this."  She went on to say, "You would feel much different about this, you will see, if I were simply killed in a car accident and you were left suddenly.  Every one of us will die one day and I am blessed to have the time I have left and I value every single day like it is my last.  This is truly a gift . . ."

 

She was right, I spent more time with my mother over the past 9 months then a did for many years combined, and that truly was a gift.  Her death left me with no question that she is in a better place and it comforts me to know that when my time comes, she will be there waiting for me ready to tell me "I told you so." 

 

I love you mom!

 To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

I would like to thank all of the family and friends who traveled long and short distances to honor my mom this weekend.  She was looking down on us with gratitude and appreciation.  She loved you all and the fact that you came to pay your respect to her is greatly appreciated.  Thank you so much!

When I was around 7-8 years old, my parents went to the grocery store and then were coming back to pick me up afterwards so we could go to our cabin for the weekend in Tabiona. While mom and dad were gone, Terrie called home and I answered. She was out with Dave (she wasn't suppose to be), and I told her she was in big trouble because I was home alone and she was suppose to be babysitting me (I was trying to "get her back" for not letting me go with her)  . I told her I was really scared (but I wasn't and she was not suppose to be watching me lol). She told me she was on her way home. In the meantime, my parents came back from the store and picked me up and we went to the cabin. After we left, Terrie came home and I was not there. She panicked, had the cops looking for me, all night thinking I was kidnapped or something. She finally called the general store in Tabiona and they came to our cabin and got my mom and dad (it was the middle of the night). When they got on the phone she was crying hysterically saying "I lost Sandy". That is when they told her I was with them. She was so mad at me! LOL! But, whenever she went somewhere after that, and I asked if I could come, she always said yes and I tagged along with her and her friends all the time after that! ha ha ha. Sorry sis!         

I remember Terrie babysitting Jason.  Going to pick up Jason from Terrie's house and Jason always having a fantastic time with her.  Terrie was the most giving person I know.  You always felt happy and at ease with things after talking with Terrie.  Terrie had a way of making you feel important or that things really didn't matter that much.  Sis you are on my mind and in my heart always.  I was not there during your last few days to say goodbye in person and I will have to try a deal with that.  I plan on saying goodbye this weekend at your "Celebration of Life".

 

Love You....

As I go through these memories of Terrie she hasn't changed a bit. I was one of her childhood friends. We were next door neighbors and the Cowleys and Hansens were always together. We played beauty pagent, made doll houses with furniture and all. I had sleep overs with Terrie and giggled all night long. She was always fun and made us laugh. As I look at her pictures she still has the same beautiful smile and happy eyes. When Sandy told us what was going on I sent Terrie a few e-mails and got to talk to her over the phone. She responded with pictures of her girls and grandchildren. She was so proud of you guys.  I am so thankful that I got to say good bye. Know that there are tears being shed in Utah because of your moms passing. We loved her. The Cowleys and Howard girls have a special place in the hearts of the Hansen Family. Love Ya 

Anyone who has had the privlage of knowing my mother, can tell you that she was the most selfless person you might ever know.  She left work one night last year, it was December and it was extremely cold out.  While walking to her car she saw a young girl sitting on the steps to the fountain just outside her job.  This girl had a light weight jacket on and was struggling to keep the hood around her head to stay warm.  Mom walked up to this girl and tapped her on the shoulder.  The girl turned to look at mom, she was crying and had a black eye.  She told mom that her boyfriend had beat her and that she couldn't go back.  Mom asked her where she was going to go and she told mom she didn't know. She left with no money and didn't have anywhere to go.  Mom's heart broke.  She pulled enough money from her wallet to get the girl a room and a warm coat.  The girl cried with grattitude, and mom cried for her and her situation.  She hugged the girl and wished her the best of luck.   THIS WAS MY MOTHER-The most amazing woman i have and will ever know.  I love you momma.   

Terrie was so supportive during the time Tonya served in Iraq. That meant so much to me, especially since we'd never even met yet. She was always so genuine, and caring, she was real. From the very day I finally did meet her she treated me as family, and that I will never forget. During our last 2 trips to visit Terrie we shared lots of special moments, and created some great memories which I will always hold dear. Terrie will always be in our hearts.

My favorite memory of Aunt Terrie was when they (her and Kim) came to Texas for some tests.  Jeremy and I drove up to see them and give our love and support.  Aunt Terrie wanted to go see the beach.  So we all went to Galveston Island.  We found a nice little bar right on the beach.  We spent hours talking and laughing.  Jeremy, Kim and I were driknking so Aunt Terrie drove us all to the hotel.  The point of this story is that we were all there for Aunt Terrie, trying to take care of her but in the end she was taking care of us.  Thats the kind of person she was, she wanted everyone to be okay.  I truly believe she is still doing that, making sure we are all okay.     

Although I was away in the Military for years and years I know that Terrie was only a phone call away.  She offered me so much encouragement and comfort during struggles that I was experiencing.  I have so many memories of her when we were growing up.  I find myself at a loss of words now that she is gone.  I feel such a loss and emptiness knowing she is no longer a phone call away.  Sister you are in my mind and heart always.  I will continue to talk to you in my prayers.

I sit here with tears in my eye's and am amazed at the wonderful magic of seemingly ordinary people and events.  People we have shared our lives with is what make our life full and worthwhile.  Terrie we all miss you.

(Photo by Juliana)

My favorite memory of my sister is this past summer in July '06 when my husband, 2 kids, and I went on a 10 day trek to Oregon and spent five of those days on the coast with Terrie, her girls, son-in-law and grandkids. We had so much fun. Although I knew she was in pain and hurting at times she never once complained. We all laughed so much playing "ZIggy" and just enjoyed each others company. We had a marvelous and memorable time. That is how my kids remember her which is just the way I wanted it to be. It was and will always be a cherished memory of my sister. I can still hear her laughter now. I love you sister!   

My mother is the most loving, genuine and kind person I have ever met.  What I will miss most about her is her sense of humor.  She made me laugh (belly laugh) all of the time.  She always found a way to get me to smile even when I was feeling down.  I remember once when we were staying together at a resort Casino in Washington she was cracking jokes all night, I had to sit down in the middle of the hall to catch my breath I was laughing so hard.

 

I will miss that she is not going to see my children graduate from high school, get married, or have kids of their own.  My mom was so proud of all of her grandchildren and she loved them all so much.